NO STARS!!!!!!!!!!!
Rated R for graphic shark attacks, and for language.
105 Minutes
Directed By: Renny Harlin
Written By: Duncan Kennedy and Donna Powers
Staring: Samuel L. Jackson, Saffron Burrows, LL Cool J, Michael Rappaport, Stellan Skarsgard, Thomas Jane, and Jacqueline McKenzie
So here’s the riddle. What does an eight thousand pound mako shark with a brain the size of a flat head V8 engine and no natural predators think about? -Russell Franklin
Synopsis
Searching for a cure to Alzheimer’s disease a group of scientists on an isolated research facility become the bait as a trio of intelligent sharks fight back.
Review
Why does Saffron Burrows seem sleepy in every scene in this movie? I guess you would get sleepy when being hunted down by three super smart villainous sharks. That makes sense? This and very little more makes sense in Deep Blue Sea, which now tries to pass itself of as intentionally campy and silly, but in truth the film was advertised as a high action updated Jaws type flick. What it should have been advertised as, is a cinematic disaster.
After the first scene where character’s actually begin with are introduced to cliche’s and our main character group. Unlike in Jaws there is nothing natural about the introduction of the characters. Everything about the first thirty minutes feels sterile and rudimentary. It’s easy to see who will die and who won’t, and what will happen with the characters. An interaction between LL Cool J and Sam Jackson about how the black guy always dies clearly indicates that one of them one won’t make it. It’s clear who will and who won’t and the scene in which one does meet their predictable demise is one of the worst scenes in movie history. It was so bad, upon my first viewing, back in 2000, I disgustedly shut off the TV and refused to finish it. The next morning I reluctantly watched the rest only to find it just as terrible. Nearly ten years later, I’ve met the same conclusion.
Even if it’s ultimate goal was to be funny or mock other movies of it’s kind it failed. Deep Blue Sea was the kind of nightmare where you are stuck at your monotonous job doing the same thing over and over again. The repetition is so insane it’s making you nauseous, except you can’t wake up from the dream, it just continues on and on.
Deep Blue Sea is in high contention to be one of my worst films of all time. It’s lackluster enthusiasm, and lazy CGI, and pathetic ability to even be remotely entertaining still has me quivering in disdain. I am frustrated by the fact that I hated it just as much the second time around as the initial viewing. Generally I can muster some sort of laughable content when prepared to sit through the awful, but this film just contained no redeeming qualities except a hysterical skit by Dave Chappelle that is more making fun of Samuel L. Jackson than Deep Blue Sea. This is truly the worst of the worst.
Worst CharacterThe Sharks
HAHAHAHA! NO STARS! AWESOME! I’ll give them credit for one thing, letting me see Samuel L. Jackson get eaten. Truly entertaining!
It was funny, but only on second viewing. The first time I was so appalled by the bad CGI shark that I was “ICKITY”, but still a funny moment.
“The Shark Ate Me!”