Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual content throughout, language and some comic violence.

84 Minutes

Meet The Spartans is a spoof on the film 300, it encompasses the same main story lines, such as King Xerxes is coming to take over Sparta, but Leonidas plans to defend against 100,000 troops with his thirteen skipping men.  The battle boils down to dance offs, a tell off battle, and comical almost fight scenes that mock the original tale.

Meet The Spartans was unfortunately the pathetic disaster advertised by critics and peers alike.  Instead of rising above some of the more recent parody films like Epic Movie, Meet The Spartans only managed to fall into the same dismal attempt at unoriginal, unfunny jokes, while not even having the ability to conceive an original story out of 300’s plot line.  It stuck exclusively to the basics 300 set and never bothered to waiver from it.  The film never rose above a sarcastic friend commenting on the film while sitting next to you on the couch.

The first ten minutes actually proved to be laughable at times and offered the possibility of it being occasionally funny until the American Idol and Britney Spears moments were introduced.  If possible it only got worse from there.  The continued theme of pop culture television shows along with the mockery of Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan was not only boring but predictable jokes that we’ve all heard before.  I am sure I am not the only person who is sick and tired of hearing the Lindsay, Paris, and Britney gags along with their overexposure on regular television and the magazines.  Let’s please leave them out of movies.  Beyond even that, the impressions of Paula, Paris, and Simon Cowell weren’t even good!  Their mockery’s show the lack of intellect and ingenuity of the writers and exposes how desperate they were for a cheap joke.  In it’s essence that’s what Meet The Spartans was: a cheap joke that just wasn’t funny.

The only redeeming quality was Carmen Electra.  Her performance was nothing to be excited about, but she is just hot and her hottness was not only on complete display throughout the entire film but focused on regularly.  For that occasional eye candy I felt compelled to keep my eyes open.  Just in case.  Otherwise, dozing off would have been a very real possibility.

The cast is hardly worth mentioning.  They all played their roles to the best ability the pathetic screenplay and direction allowed them to.  I’m sure they all joined in on the idea of a quick paycheck in a movie that would be easily forgotten about in six months.

This film is rated PG-13, but some of the sexual innuendo is a bit out there and not unlike You Don’t Mess With The Zohan I feel like this film was incorrectly rated and should have been an “R” rating.  Not that it matters.  No one should rent, or even bother to view this film for free.  It’s a complete waste of time and total insult to anyone who has a brain that functions with an IQ over 50.  The film is hardly a parody, it’s just mundane and superfluous.  Please, by all means don’t bother.  I feel most unfortunate for having wasted so much of my precious time and money.  Meet The Spartans gets Half A Star out of Four, and that half star is based on Carmen Electra’s overwhelming hottness. 

VN:F [1.8.5_1061]

VN:F [1.8.5_1061]